Its been a year and 4 months since the birth of the prince aka Special K aka my prince aka the brat. This has been a year of absolute hermit-hood, I had cut off my friends ,my family and my other passions. So much of the experiences motherhood has taught me no one could have prepared me for and if it wasn’t for my bestie Rachel who never missed the chance to tell me that I was doing great , I would have felt like a complete failure.
Of all the things I lost I miss myself the most. I had stopped writing. I had stopped reading. I had stopped going out. And the moods, I could have done without those. I discovered love. Loving him; my son became all I lived for . Catering to his needs became my ultimate purpose ,as if taking care of me would somehow rob him of his due love. And yet part of it was the absolute comfort of having this little person, my own little human who did not comment about my weight gain or make snide remarks about my wacky dress sense. I discovered that he did not mind at all if I picked him up without showering or brushing my teeth, all the things that make other people cringe. My son became the comfort zone I had always read about. Post pregnancy became the whirlpool of “I don’t care”, I kind of figured I could blame everything on the pregnancy.
Anyway fast forward to the present, a couple of days ago a ran into a long lost friend and decided to go for a drink. That experience left me enthused about life, invigorated and had me longing for the old me. As much as I miss her, the reality is that the old me is gone but there is nothing holding me back from capturing some of her essence and infusing that with this new me. Here is hoping that the love and patience Kenshin has taught me makes me a better human being for everyone else. Here is to getting on that diet and detox. Here’s to digging up some motivation to lift those dumbbells. We know I have dug up the password to my WordPress account, yaay for little big steps. I am claiming my passions and my friends back. Today is day one of the new old me.