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Of all the things I lost I miss myself the most

24 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by abytrax in Uncategorized

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health, inspiration, life

happiness

Its been a year and 4 months since the birth of the prince aka Special K aka my prince aka the brat. This has been a year of absolute hermit-hood, I had cut off my friends ,my family and my other passions. So much of the experiences motherhood has taught me no one could have prepared me for and if it wasn’t for my bestie Rachel who never missed the chance to tell me that I was doing great , I would have felt like a complete failure.

Of all the things I lost I miss myself the most. I had stopped writing. I had stopped reading. I had stopped going out. And the moods, I could have done without those. I discovered love. Loving him; my son became all I lived for . Catering to his needs became my ultimate purpose ,as if taking care of  me would somehow rob him of his due love. And yet part of it was the absolute comfort of having this little person, my own little human who did not comment about my weight gain or make snide remarks about my wacky dress sense. I discovered that he did not mind at all if I picked him up without showering or brushing my teeth, all the things that make other people cringe. My son became the comfort zone I had always read about. Post pregnancy became the whirlpool of “I don’t care”, I kind of figured I could blame everything on the pregnancy.

Anyway fast forward to the present, a couple of days ago a ran into a long lost friend and decided to go for a drink. That experience left me enthused about life, invigorated and had me longing for the old me. As much as I miss her, the reality is that the old me is gone but there is nothing holding me back from capturing some of her essence and infusing that with this new me. Here is hoping that the love and patience Kenshin has taught me makes me a better human being for everyone else. Here is to getting on that diet and detox. Here’s to digging up some motivation to lift those dumbbells. We know I have dug up the password to my WordPress account, yaay for little big steps. I am claiming my passions and my friends back. Today is day one of the new old me.

am

 

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Italian Lace

26 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by abytrax in Gravity

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Big Story, body, faith, health, Holy Spirit, hope, life, love, temple

In this day and age where busy schedules are the order of the day, it is imperative to take time to take care of your body and your mind.

The mind, which is somewhere in the brain, is a very complex area, as you can imagine. But there is a simple way of relaxing the mind; it is something we often take for granted. I’m talking about BREATHING. Yes the seemingly easy process of taking in and letting out air.

My advice,,,,
In the morning after you awaken before you dress up, you make time to either lay back or sit up and try to clear your mind. Imagine a still pond of water or a stream, or a meadow and concentrate on that. Draw calmness from your chosen scenario. Allow the peace of inaction and inactivity of the mind to ground you.

Breathing in,,,,
When you breathe in visualize the red blood cells as they transport the oxygen to everywhere in your body. I see them as red smurfs carrying little backpacks filled to the brim with bubbles of oxygen. Get intimate with the way your body feels.

Acknowledge,,,,
As you visualize this process allow yourself to acknowledge that you are a truly beautiful, intricate and delicate yet sophisticated creation. Your intricacy, like handmade Italian lace, makes you unique and complicated. Yes, you are complicated and that means it takes a lot of careful thought and consideration to deal with you. You deserve that someone actually thinks before making utterances. That you ought to be treated with the utmost respect for you are special!

And now your day is just about ready to begin,,,,

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